Surely, the ending of such discrimination should bring tears of joy and celebration to all of us. But for me, it was more personal. I have always known that I could lose my job, housing, family, friends, and church over my sexual orientation. Over the years, I have experienced too many of these losses. I have always lived in a borderland state of truth and concealment. The advent of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell, made lying – overtly and through omission – acceptable. The risk of telling, of living with integrity, was high. The cost of sanctioned deceit was even higher.
Yes, there were tears in my eyes on the Sunday when I lit the candle. Not only did the DADT walls come tumbling down, but somewhere, from deep, deep inside, a well of acceptance opened. Living for so long with legally enshrined double standards, I had not realized how much sorrow I harbored. My tears flowed from a hidden spring of hope.
While there are many battles still being waged, the repeal of DADT is a harbinger of things to come. Maybe some day, my marriage will be recognized too.
It is surely a blessing to be a Unitarian Universalist. We profess AND work for the inherent worth and dignity of every person. When I lit the DADT candle, the congregation may or may not have noticed my tears. The applause was immediate and heartfelt. It was a moment of celebration for reclaiming sanity and fairness. It is so good to live and serve in a religious community where the upmost values are integrity and love – a magnificent blessing indeed. For that and so much more, I am deeply grateful.
